TOP-10… Things to know about Mexico City

1- Great street food. Whatever the vendor says… Just say ‘si’, it’s gold. Street tacos are about 70c each and they’re a tiny little orgasm in a tortilla.

2- Don’t expect to find a public toilet anytime quickly. I managed to use a cafe toilet and nearly started a punch up. A very proud Mexican was pissed off that the owner allowed me and denying him citing (in very good English) “fucking discriminatory asshole”…. Oops.

3- Mexicans love Mexico. Expect to be asked plenty “do you love Mexico” not like… Love. Haven’t tested saying no and thankfully don’t have to.

4- Where are the bloody tourists?… #onlywhitepeopleintown

5- Best weight loss program ever… Everything has chilli and flavours hit you in the face. You eat and you poo then you have a little lie down. Apparently it’s called monteczumas revenge.

6- Getting on and off the metro is more like a cattle stampede, just push. Ladies-push, children-push, elderly-push, hot guy-really push!

7-Mexico City is like a fierce lesbian, she’s gritty, vivacious, lively, smart, cool and fashionable… But not ‘pretty’.

8- No need to ‘get a room’, just do it in public. Locals seem very open to public affection so, Mexicans, get your pash on! We salute you.

9- So Spanish isn’t necessarily ‘Mexican’. The European Spanish phrase book isn’t as helpful as you’d like. Just when you thought you said something right