Dearest Bogota,

I regret to write this in a note, we really should say it face to face we know. Alas, we think a clean separation is the best thing for the both of us, yes we’re leaving you. Now don’t cry, it’s difficult for us too but we both know this was always going to be a short romance. As you know, since Mexico we’ve only been able to have fleeting rebounds, Havana was fun and we though the step back from his craziness might suit us. But as it turns out, and we hate to say this, you’re just a bit boring. You see we’re just not the ‘missionary position, fully clothed, under the sheets with the lights off’ kinda guys, you understand don’t you?

All we really wanted was a bit of excitement. We had heard people tell of your danger, your flare and colour but what you gave me was not Gloria from Modern Family, but more Estelle Getty from Golden Girls. Safe to say, your reputation precedes you, a little much we have to say. We know this may come as a shock to hear it but I believe you deserve the truth, please don’t hate us for it. And you could learn to cook a little, just saying. Is it too much to ask for a decent coffee in the morning, I mean you grow this stuff, and a meal that tastes like something other than styrofoam?

But we have to commend you on your cleanliness and order, you’re a pleasure to be with when it comes to getting things done. And you’re not without your highlights don’t get me wrong, we just need a little more pizzazz in our life right now. You’re the right guy to settle down with and get a dog, but that’s not us at the moment; yes, it’s us, not you. You’ll make someone a very content tweet sweater wearing accountant who’s into vintage cars, one day, but we are sorry to say that day is not now and that person is not us. And lets face it, a three way relationship wasn’t your thing from the beginning.

So it’s farewell from us to you Bogota. We’ve been getting sultry looks from that guy Ecuador all this time, I’m afraid it’s goodbye, we wish you all the best.

Much love,

Steve and Charlie